Forgiveness is Highly Overrated

By Keith Sherwood

First things first; I’m not going to harp on the fact that Jesus was a Jew and that he probably believed in the ancient principle of an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, as opposed to the belief in unconditional forgiveness that was later adopted by his followers. Remember – he was not opposed to violence or judgement when it suited him. Just ask the money changers at the temple if you don’t believe me.

The issue I want to bring up is not related to anyone’s religious conviction or new age belief. It’s related to your subtle field of consciousness, energy and etheric matter – and what unjustified forgiveness does or doesn’t do to it.

Forgiveness that is unjustified solves none of the problems in the victims’ subtle field associated with violent trauma, neglect, sexual abuse or loss. In fact, in most cases, unjustified forgiveness aggravates them.

What Forgiveness is Not

Minor offenses rarely need to be forgiven. They may be annoying, cause confusion or loss, but most people recognize that nobody’s perfect. So, they can shrug off minor offenses or, better yet, learn from them. Graver offenses that traumatize a person are more difficult to forgive and for the most part shouldn’t be forgiven, at least not unconditionally. There are several reasons for this. But before I delve into them, I want to address the notion that forgiveness is more important for the victim than it is for the perpetrator.

After more than forty years studying the subtle field of consciousness, energy and etheric matter, and how subtle fields interact, I find this a product of magical thinking or, worse, pure ignorance.

The truth is that all traumatic events have long-term effects. That’s because all traumatic events have two parts; one that is physical and another that is non-physical. The physical trauma may cause injuries that take time to heal. The non-physical trauma that accompanies it may fester unnoticed for years and cause untold damage.

In almost all cases, the non-physical trauma will lead to the disruption of one or more surface boundaries, the loss of pressure in one or more auric fields, the intrusion of distorted consciousness, energy and subtle matter into the survivor’s personal space, the rapid loss of energy in the energetic vehicles that remain under duress, even the ejection of one or more subtle bodies or vehicles from personal body space.

Unfortunately, most survivors won’t recognize these first-generation symptoms. Only later, when second and third generation symptoms emerge into their consciousness awareness, will they recognize that something is seriously wrong.

Second and third generation symptoms include the loss of self-awareness and self-confidence, the inability to access authentic feelings and emotions, the disruption of self-control, trust, personal power and vitality. In many cases, they also include depression and anxiety, sexual dysfunction, creative blocks and boundary problems that can cause the survivor to withdraw from the normal activities of life.

In some cases, there will be additional long-term complications. These include the creation of trauma scars and blind spots that can make it difficult for the survivor to participate in healthy, intimate relationships.

Trauma Scars & Blind Spots

Trauma scars are the cause of a survivor’s most enduring symptoms because they can remain structurally intact for years. A trauma scar is basically frozen energy (prana, chi and jing) that has been saturated by distorted energy projected into the survivor’s subtle field during the traumatic event. The frozen energy will block the flow of prana, chi and jing and disrupt the functions of the subtle and physical organs in the afflicted area.

Blind spots are reservoirs of distorted consciousness, energy and/or subtle matter. They are created by external projections and/or intrusions that funnel distorted fields into the survivor’s subtle field. Blind spots disrupt motivation, enthusiasm and concentration and can make it difficult for a person to sleep peacefully or to express their authentic feelings and emotions. Blind spots that have become large enough can make it difficult for a survivor to empathize with other people and communicate freely.

Unconditional forgiveness heals none of the afflictions or releases any of the attachments associated with trauma scars and blind spots. In fact, many offenses such as sexual and/or physical abuse will keep the victim connected to the perpetrator indefinitely because of the presence of fields of attachment, such as cords and controlling waves.

Given the problems associated with forgiveness, is it ever appropriate? In most cases, the answer is no. However, one potential scenario justifies forgiveness: the perpetrator’s participation in the process of redemption.

The process of redemption involves three steps: confession, repentance and restitution. According to the Christian idea of redemption, a sinner who has not taken these three steps has a snowball’s chance in hell of getting redeemed or getting on God’s good side. That’s because, without completing these three steps, there will be no healing, closure or justification for being forgiven.


In the first step, confession, the perpetrator must acknowledge what they did and why they did it. This can be difficult for people who believe that they’re always the hero of their personal drama.

Regardless of the spiritual nonsense you’ve been taught, it makes no sense to forgive someone who doesn’t acknowledge that they’ve violated you or someone you love. This makes confession, which is the admission of responsibility (not guilt), an essential step in the process. But confession means more than just acknowledging wrongdoing. It means nothing if it’s not accompanied by empathy for the victim’s loss and suffering.

Empathy for other people, which is a rare commodity nowadays, requires the perpetrator to experience the same pain and loss as the victim; they must walk in the victim’s shoes, so to speak.

Without experiencing empathy, the gravity of the offense cannot be fully understood by the perpetrator; and without a full understanding of what the aggrieved person suffered, the perpetrator can never fully repent.


Repentance is a two-part process. In the first part, the perpetrator must recognize the wrongness of their actions and feel contrition or regret for engaging in them. In the second part, the perpetrator must engage in activities that demonstrate that there has been a fundamental change in their character.

The perpetrator must also recognize that the distorted thoughts, emotions and feelings that fueled their behavior and activities wounded both themselves and the victim. This means that their recognition of wrongdoing includes a commitment never to repeat the same act or series of actions again, regardless of the temptation.


The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines restitution as “an act of restoring or a condition of being restored: such as… making good of or giving an equivalent for some injury.

Forgiving someone before they’ve made adequate restitution disrupts the process of healing for both victim and perpetrator and makes closure difficult, if not impossible. That’s because it precludes any possibility of releasing the attachments that bind the victim to the perpetrator.

Restitution is giving the victim what they need to let go of blame. To the extent possible, the victim is repaid or compensated for the injury, damage or loss caused by the offender.

John B. MacDonald writes in his article ‘Restitution: what it is; why it matters,’ “As we have seen, for the victim, restitution restores a measure of wholeness. To the extent possible, the victim is repaid or compensated for the injury, damage, or loss caused by the offender.

For the offender, restitution can also restore a degree of wholeness. In some way, as repentance is expressed in works, a healing begins in the life of the offender.

The End